People feeling their problems are not “big enough” to seek professional help can be a significant barrier to attending to their mental health and absolutely shouldn’t be. Therapy is not exclusively for those with a diagnosis of a mental illness nor are there any set rules for who “qualifies” to start therapy. Working on what you might think is “making a fuss over nothing”, can really improve your day-to-day life and is worth considering.

Written by Nadine Seif BSc, Assistant Psychologist, Sloane Court Clinic

Therapists see people with a huge variety of reasons for choosing to start their therapeutic journeys and these are all valid. One person may be working through a niggling issue that’s been troubling them for years; another might be trying to overcome a previous trauma; someone else might simply want support through a life transition. There are also people who don’t necessarily have a “problem” to work through each session but want to gain a better understanding of themselves and use this insight to better maintain their general mental health.

As Dr Ruth Ann Harpur, Clinical Psychologists at SCC, describes it, “therapy is flexible and dynamic and if a problem is sufficient to concern you, then it is sufficient enough to ask for help.” She emphasises that “you certainly do not need to be mentally ill to benefit from therapy.” The decision to start therapy is a personal one, and likewise, so are one’s reasons for doing so.

Therapy-goers can address and tackle an existing concern and/or place themselves well to deal with inevitable setbacks later in life. “It can help you develop assertiveness, learn how to navigate conflict more constructively, nurture a kinder relationship with yourself or overcome something that may be holding you back”, says Dr Harpur. In all cases, the skills and awareness to be gained in therapy are useful to all and there is no problem too small (or too big!) to seek support with. Dr Isabel McMullen, Consultant Psychiatrist at SCC, says “I’m not a therapist myself but I work very closely with some psychologists, and I almost always recommend my patients seek therapy in my treatment plans. With the wide range and varying severities of mental health difficulties I see among my patients, I really believe in the positive effects of therapy whatever the reason a person initially choses to go.”

Unfortunately, some people delay starting therapy until they have found that the problem initially “not worth” seeking help for, has snowballed into something much bigger. At this point more extensive psychological intervention can be needed than would have previously been necessary.

Referring to her work with couples, Dr Harpur comments on the benefit of seeking help early. “People often seek help too late, when they are on the verge of divorce or breakup” she notes. “This is changing, people are now seeking therapy earlier on in their relationships and using it to become more aware of their relational dynamics and work together to build a loving, compassionate and adventurous relationship from the beginning.” For many mental health difficulties, early intervention promotes a higher likelihood of a full recovery within a shorter amount of time, so this delay can be detrimental to one’s prognosis.

A very common, but misattributed, source of feeling ineligible for therapy is comparing the magnitude of your own issues to those around you. For example, one person may feel unjustified in seeking help for an ongoing low-level unhappiness while their friend is going through a divorce or their partner is grieving the loss of a loved one. Comparing others’ responses to challenging situations to your own responses can be similarly unhelpful. Believing others with seemingly bigger problems are able to cope with them alone and therefore you should too, can prevent people from receiving the care they need and is often based on false assumptions.

As humans, we all have different coping strategies and those who seem to be cruising through may silently suffering or are actually in therapy but haven’t shared this with you. Generally speaking, your mental health is highly specific to you and your environment, and so can’t be fairly assessed in relation to anyone else’s. Seeking help to work through something you are struggling with, no matter how big or small, is a proactive step to maintaining good mental health and will almost certainly contribute positively to your day-to-day life.

Working with a therapist can be a very enriching experience for anyone, and in addition to reaping personal benefits, can also stand you in better stead for you to show up and support the people you love. Going to therapy is open to anyone and can be hugely beneficial to you and those around you!